Slackjaw's Forum

Ike and I took a drive down to The Evergreen State College last Friday. I’ve got it in my head that I should go back and finally get those last three credits needed to complete my undergraduate degree. When I walked away from Evergreen all those years ago, I really thought I was done with school. I went through the graduation ceremony, walked past the podium in my green robe and ill-fitting square hat to the applause of my fellow students, turned the corner and kept going. My intention was to pick up the last remaining credits over that summer, but I guess I just didn’t realize how finished I was with school, even though, as it turned out, the school wasn’t quite finished with me. To tell the truth, non-graduation had never once come up until I was answering questions for our lawsuit. I had always, up to this point, simply stated that I had completed four years of college and left it at that. But here was a legal document wanting to know if I completed college and so I...

We named her Batman; though we later found out she was a girl. Sixteen years ago she came to us via a cardboard box near the main gate of the Woodland Park Zoo. A sign was posted “Free Kittens” and since it was spring and she always wants a new cat in the spring, Sweetie called me to see if she could take one home. But Batman didn’t ever really stick and we soon started calling her Batty and from there her name began to split like shards of glass. · Batina · Batarina Witt · Battyship · The Battyship Potempkin · Tempkin · Battykins · Pope-o-dee Battykin · and finally just Popo-D She was one of the “stupid” cats. You know the kind that people wind up with when looking for a companion for the first “smart” cat. It seemed like a good idea at the time but it became apparent early on that she would at best just be a thorn in our other cat’s side. Though Zane never cared for her, she would at times, reluctantly groom her. Probably more out of a sense of pity then out of love. ...

When I turned my head to the right and looked out past the kitchen window out into the rain, I could just see the front bumper of the car. It was a late nineties Explorer with Nevada license plates and an empty roof rack. I had never seen it before here at the park, but I guess that in itself wasn’t all that unusual. One of the things about trailer parks is that in their transient nature, unknown cars and people are not all that uncommon, even though I’d say we have a pretty tight knit community here. Still, there was something out of place about it, something about it being too close to the highway and hidden at the same time. I talked to Dewy and Ham later in the day after they came back from walking their dog, and they said they didn’t know whom the car belonged to either. It was clean, like either the owners didn’t have kids, or if they did they were so anal about everything that no Cheerio was left un-picked up. No stray pieces of paper, torn maps, pop cans or cigarett...

The only way Janet Jackson’s stunt could have gone wrong in the end is if we weren’t still talking about it on Wednesday. Still, I’m amazed that MTV and CBS are letting her hang out there in the wind like that…In a multi-million dollar production like the Super Bowl I know one thing, there is no such thing as spontaneity. The camera was in a perfect two shot to capture the whole thing. Everything is planned down to the second; it has to be at 2.5 million per 30-second commercial spot. On the other hand, I would say that JJ’s investment in her boob job has really paid off. When you think about it, even if she paid half a million dollars for them, they’ve made way more than that for her. Not to say she was nothing before she got them, but I think there is no doubt that her boobs have done more for her carrier than anything else she’s done. Think I’m lying? Well I tell you what, she puts em out there every chance she gets…think she’d do that if they didn’t sell? In other n...