The Ocean

We took off for the ocean this past weekend. Packed to boys into their car seats put the cooler in the back and off we went. It’s been awhile since we’ve been out there, at least in the winter, when you brace yourself for every storm that passes, by sitting in front of a fire and watching the rain.

We went to Moclips near the Indian reservation where we used to go before Tommy died.

My brother-in-law was a large man, who had spent his life in produce, working the various grocery stores in Tacoma until he was no longer able. Two years ago last Thanksgiving he finally got caught by the cancer that had been chasing him.

I have a picture of him flying his kite out there. Standing at the golden hour right before the sun sets: hood up, beard poking out and a great flash of white teeth in a smile that said it all.

Tommy was someone whose great joy was just being in the moment. You can see it in that picture by the ocean, kite string in hand and you could see it the first time you met him. His daughter sent me a picture taken a little while later, empty spool of kite string in his hand and that same smile on his face. On the back she had written, “the kite is gone but the smile remains.”

Out on the coast, with the howling wind and rain beating against the window of our room, that comes back to me. Every day we choose what makes us happy. Every day we chose what were going to do and whom we’re going to do it with. Every day is a choice.

Most people go through life asking “if I could be anywhere on earth right now, where would I be?” but I like to think that Tommy would have asked the better question, “If I could be anywhere on earth right now, why would I be anyplace else?

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