The Mill

One apple and one coffee cup full of water sit perched on the edge of my desk. I put them there to eat but I have little stomach for them right now. I have the remnants of a cold lingering and I thought an apple might do me good but as I sit here now and look at it, I’m not sure I want it after all.

I gave my desktop monitor to the accountant. Hers blew up yesterday and I have my laptop so I gave her the one off my desk. I cleaned up the dust and little bits of chewed rubber band that though sprayed all over my desk, settle under the monitor. Somehow I think that by chewing rubber bands into tiny chunks, I might control my nail-biting obsession and in some pathetic way create an illusory modicum of control over my life.

I also cleaned up small chunks of fingernails and un-bent paper clips, post-it notes that have been folded up on themselves and paper dots left over from a filing mission I mistakenly undertook in a four hour frenzy of office organization last June.

I have made no resolutions this year. There are only a handful of promises I can keep anyway. Love seems to be one I’m pretty good at, keeping this web page updated so far has been another one and music continues to be another one that I find I’m able to keep. But after this top three things seem to slip a little.

I’m not sure how many promises I need to keep up in the air anyway. Three seems like a nice solid number.

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