Christianity

I don’t understand Christianity. In fact, as I get older I find myself further and further away from unraveling the mystery of what people find so comforting in this belief system.

After the funeral today, the second this week, I was left with the lingering question; “what do Christians think we’re doing here?” And when I say “here” I mean here on earth, here in the right now. Are we all just hanging around to see if we can get into heaven? Is this reality that we’re living in just some sort of cattle pen, a conveyor belt sorting system, designed to weed out those of us worthy of the great beyond? If God created this, us, and Heaven and everything then why this unnecessary step? Why would He put us in this unforgiving world? Is it that God is just a mass producer, where quantity is the goal, leaving the weeding out of the undesirable broken toys until a later time? Has He created some sort of quality control slaughterhouse where, when He’s seen enough, the souls get divided into eternal Heaven or eternal Hell and damnation? If this is the case, then why at the end of the world does Jesus return and kill all the remaining people and then sort them as well? You would think that someone who possesses eternal life would have no problem waiting a few more million years until we become extinct ourselves. It’s not like the great sorting machine isn’t working in the meantime. Every year millions of people die, millions of people are born, and if I get it right, this is all just so God can find out who gets membership into the great country club in the sky. For this they are thankful.

Then God comes down and kills your thirty-five year old husband, and father of your five-year-old child and the priest reads this:

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; ...

WHAT? It’s not bad enough that the bastard killed everything you’ve ever loved, now he’s there to comfort you? What kind of reasoning is that?

Well I tell you what I think…It’s the kind of reasoning a battered wife uses to go back to her abusive husband. “He hit me for my own good, and besides I know he loves me…”

I swear, every time I find myself at a Christian service these days I leave with more angry questions than peaceful answers.

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