The Foundation And The 390 Holly

Dear Slackjaw,

A few years back a couple a fellas bought the Sturgess property up the hill from our place. They rebuilt from the foundation, did a damn fine job.

Anyway, we've all gotten to be pretty good friends over the years. Recently
it dawned on me that neither of these guys ever have dates. Never in
going on 3 years. I don't guess they're ugly or anything, I can't be judge that anyway.

Isn't it harmful to a fella to go that long without sex? Do you think something's
wrong with them?

Thanks for your help,

Seth


Dear Seth,

I had a friend once, Carl Brinier, who used to take his '62 AMC American out to S.I.R. and enter it into the time-trials down there. He had done some modification to the suspension and had put headers, Clifford intake and a 390 Holley under the hood. He used to think it was the fastest thing out there but it wasn't. He'd get blown out just about every time he went. Used to drive him up the wall. See what Carl didn't know is that AMC used to install a mild factory cam in their cars and so he couldn't get the engine to rev past 4000 rpm even after he did a valve spring change.

Now I knew this of course but never told him. Somehow I thought that if I let him in on that he might think it's finished and go back to his drinkin. See, somehow that car kept him sober, and though I'm not sayin that's the best policy for every one, Carl was one of the meanest drunks you ever met. I saw him throw his own mother into the Puyallup cause she burnt his eggs. He was a decent mechanic and it was the lack of drink that kept him so.

I guess what I'm tryin to say is that sex is great and all, but there's allot of other factors that get involved as well. Sometimes the frustration of not knowing about a factory-installed cam leads you down a different path of enlightenment.

Slackjaw


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