Body Language

It started out innocently enough, as most things do that I don’t understand. This time I was waiting in line to order my sandwich and standing next to a young couple who seemed locked in a heavy discussion about the effects of water on our atmosphere. As she was explaining to him how there are little water particles EVERYWHERE even coming off our bodies when we’re just walking about, it made the first thing I wanted to do, be to sit right down next to them both so I could figure out what the hell this conversation was all about. I mean, where were we going with this, I wanted to ask. Of course coming into a conversation like that mid-stream felt a lot like catching a comedian half way already through his set—I knew it was gonna take a while to get to and understand the point.

The conversation darted around quite a bit, and of course by conversation I meant the one sided variety kind where one person talks and the other one agrees hoping to be able to get into her pants later on. It flew past naturopathy, evil pharmaceutical companies who withhold common everyday knowledge, the movement of water and water particles around the planet and then squarely sat itself down into a discussion about body building.

You see, she didn’t really start listening to her body until she started lifting weights, and this was when she began to change her whole idea about her body image and health and fitness.

By this time I had just sat down at the next table with my freshly made turkey sandwich in my hand and started getting ready to eat the lunch my brain has decided to allow my body to have.

Because in my world, with my body, it’s a whole different conversation: My body is constantly telling my brain what it wants. It wants chips, it wants chocolate. Gee, doesn’t a doughnut sound good right about now? What do you mean it’s late and you’re tired? We could have a snack and be back in bed before we even really wake up. I tell ya, listening to my body is a really, really bad idea. I spend most of my waking hours trying to get my brain to ignore what my body is telling it it needs.

Here were people, who when they listen to their bodies, are told that a fresh green salad (with a splash of dressing) would be just the thing for lunch. It was like I was sitting next to a whole other English speaking species. Similar, yet completely different.

Here’s what happens when my body starts talking.

Brain: Walking past a Taco Time billboard, quickly diverts eyes and fixes on a crack in the sidewalk.

Body: “HEY! what was that? did you see that? I thought I saw something! brain, BRAIN! HEY did you see that, I think it was a billboard with a taco….those are good, right? Hey, can we get a Taco? I really NEEEEED a taco, cause it’s been hours since we last ate, and that was just a little lunch anyway and besides it didn’t have enough lettuce or tomato in it and aren’t those things supposed to be good for us anyway and didn’t you say we were on a diet?”

Brain: “Were not having a taco.” crosses the street

Body: “Oh…were not? Dang…that’s to bad, cause I’m starting to get a little hungry, cause didn’t that Mexican food look good? What about a burrito? Doesn’t Taco Time make a good burrito? we could have that instead…you know, maybe even make it a healthy one if you want, though that would make it not taste as good, and really who knows when the next time is that we’d be able to get something else do eat…I mean, it could be a while right? We should make it to taste as good as we could, right?”

Brain: “Look, we just ate an hour ago, we’re on a diet here, so WE’RE NOT EATING! ok? Just drop it!”

Body: “ok, ok, SHEESH! Don’t have to blow a gasket or anything, I was just making a suggestion, but if you don’t feel like Mexican food, I mean that’s ok… we can find something else later maybe. Hey, hey! There’s a 7-11, we could stop in for an ice cream or a soda or a candy bar, you know, something small because we’re not really hungry right now…and, well, I could use a little chocolate right about now anyway. BESIDES... don’t we deserve a little treat for not getting that Taco thingie before? If you ask me, we really showed some restraint not getting Mexican food and I think that’s maybe a reason to celebrate, I mean don’t you? Hey, what’s your favorite kind of chocolate anyway? Mine is most defiantly…”

And so on and so on. This is the body that I listen too everyday, all day. When in the past I lifted weights or did a little jogging the whole focus was on NOT listening to my body. In fact the longer I could ignore what my body was telling me, the more successful the exorcize session would be.

If I listened to my body anymore than I already do, I’d be morbidly obese or dead by my 41st birthday, nodoutaboutit.

Comments

Anonymous said…
Just saw your commentary while researching body language. Thanks for that laugh! I have a body that sometimes I wish would shut its big mouth, too :)
4:42 AM
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